


Lost to You

by gray_autumn_sky



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Other, prompt part 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:17:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gray_autumn_sky/pseuds/gray_autumn_sky
Summary: Queen Regina is forced to give up an child.Prompt #110 - Roland is secretly Regina's biological child.





	Lost to You

Regina looks down at the baby boy sleeping in her arms and smiles sadly. Her heart aches and her tears sting in her eyes--she’s never felt pain like this.

She wasn’t sure how she thought this would all end--really, she wouldn’t allow herself to think about it--and for a few months, she hadn’t had to. She’s successfully kept it all a secret--that was, of course, until the secret couldn’t be kept any longer. Leopold thinks he’s offering her some sort of gift, that this is some sort of act of benevolence that she should feel grateful for. Yet, all it does is make her hate him a little more than she did before.

Months ago a thief broke into the castle. He’d wandered into her bedchamber as she was brushing her hair. Through the mirror, she’d seen the filled knapsack he held--and through the mirror she’d seen his deep blue eyes. He smiled a bit devilishly and sheepishly when she turned to face him. He didn’t try to run away or make an excuse; instead, he asked what his punishment would be.

For awhile, she considered. Maybe it was the wine she drank at dinner, maybe it was her loneliness, maybe it was his smile, or maybe, it was some combination of all those things. Regardless, her heart raced as she came toward him, her mouth went dry as she pushed her hand against his chest, and her conscience screamed as she told him exactly what she wanted.

Then, all of her trepidation faded away as he obliged her.

She faced the first signs of pregnancy with disbelief, but soon that disbelief shifted into joy.

The child she carried was a wanted child--and though deep down she knew that she could never keep him--she let herself live in the fantasy of what that might be like, and she stayed there for far too long.

Now, she had to give him up and her heart was breaking.

“You won’t give him to just anybody, right?”

The woman standing before her shakes her head. “No. We’ll wait to find the perfect parents for your boy.”

Regina nods and her chest tightens a little more. “He won’t grow up alone?”

“I promise you that will not happen.”

“But--”

“He’ll be loved and cared for, just as he is now, until the time comes… until his new family comes.”

Nodding, Regina looks back to the baby in her arms. “You’ll have a good life,” she promises, bending her head to kiss his soft forehead, “And who knows? Maybe one day we’ll meet again.”

The woman offers a half-hearted smile and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small vial. “To help you adjust.”

Regina’s brow furrows as the woman presses the vial into her palm. “What is it?”

“It’ll dull the pain,” she clarifies. “Make it easier to bear.”

She’s not sure she wants that as difficult as this is; in fact, she doesn’t believe it's possible. 

Leopold clears his throat. He’s annoyed; this has all gone on for far too long.

Regina’s chest tightens again as fresh tears rush to her eyes as she transfers her baby into the woman’s arms. It takes everything in her to let him go, and when she withdraws her arm from underneath him, she instantly feels the loss.

“Did you name him?”

Regina blinks, looking at the woman. “Roland,” she murmurs. “I’ve been calling him Roland.”

The woman nods. “That’s a good name. I’ll be sure it sticks.”

“Thank you,” she says in a voice that’s barely audible--and before she even finishes the sentiment, the woman and her boy fade away into the night, leaving her and Leopold alone in her bedchamber. For a moment, she just stands there, clutching the little vial as her sadness turns to rage. Of everything her husband’s taken from her, this hurts the most--and this is the one thing she can’t forgive. Already, she can feel her anger eating away at her, building and burrowing in her chest.

He says her name and she turns to him, looking at him with hard eyes--and then, she brushes past him, her shoulder hitting against his as she passes. He calls her name again, but she doesn’t stop. Nothing he can do or say will make this better. 

She’ll never forgive him.

She’ll never forgive herself.


End file.
